…home

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What is “Home” to you?

That is the question that someone has asked me [and a bunch of other people] a year ago, and until now it stuck with me without a clear answer. I have never thought about it until a year ago, however, I always knew that this is more than a question to me. “Home” to me needs a deeper definition, it has a deeper meaning, which still remains uncertain in my mind.

I believe that I haven’t acquired “home” yet. Of course there is a place where I was born and lived for the biggest part of my life yet, and there is also a place where my memories live, where I become utterly nostalgic, where I long to be, where I hate to be, where I would never live again. These are all places that to some extent can be called a “home”.

I still remember the answers that were offered by the other people; “Home” is… where you feel loved; where you feel like you belong; where you were born; where your parents live”… Although they are all right in a personal sense, as “home” has a different meaning to each individual, however, these definitions are far from what I feel.

Very often we describe it with the feelings that we want to receive when we are at home. We say that someone is ought to love us or someone should welcome us in a place that can be called our “home”. We say that our home has to warm us up or it should feed us and make us happy… The truth is, [more like my truth], that home isn’t any of the above. “Home” doesn’t owe us anything and it doesn’t have to make us feel loved or happy. Quite opposite, I believe that “home” can be acquired when the individual puts an effort into it. “Home” is something that you give your love to, that you make a happy place to be, that you welcome in your heart and warm it with your feelings and emotions. This is a place that you create and provide for. In the same way you must work to create a happy relationship, you must work hard to create a place that will be called a “home”. This is a relationship of both ends, and in order for “home” to be place that welcomes you, you must welcome it first.

That is the reason why I am still looking for the answer to the questions that is “what is home to you?”. I believe that I still haven’t welcomed my home into my heart, I am still looking for that place that I will love and work hard to build a successful relationship with. To some extent, I am afraid to limit myself to one relationship, to one place and to one definition of this broad and difficult term.

Whilst writing this, I come to a thought that my home is the universe, my home is the planet that I love and I am amazed by. This is a place where I was born, but it is also a place that I love and I want to cherish as much as I can. I haven’t seen my home in its full beauty, but I have discovered some parts of it. I want to know it better, I want to become a part of it, I want to give it all my love and welcome it fully in my heart. The universe is my home, I am no citizen of one country [mentally] and my heart is not limited to one culture or one nationality.

I will definitely find you, dear home.

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